Grilled Life WITH Sparkling LoVe

“There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads; afraid, confused, without a road map. The choices we make in those moments will define us for the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push onto something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it’s only when you’re tested that you discover who you truly are. And it’s only when you’re tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, faith and belief. And beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.”

–Chad Michael Murray as Lucas Scott (one tree hill)–

Finally I finished watching one tree hill season 1, after such a LONG time. And soon I’ll start off with season 2. I know i know, I’m far behind but well what can I do? My pc was temporarily dumb for a few months. There was a problem with the sound card, I think and now its back to normal after being sent to be reformatted.

Getting back to the quote just now, its from One Tree Hill too and it was quoted by the character Lucas Scott. I can’t agree more with what he has quoted. Almost all of us will come to the crossroad somewhere in our life, at least once and when we are there at the cross road, we’d have all those mixed feelings ; afraid, confused, lost without a map. And when I say crossroad, its not those small petty decisions we have to make. Its all big big BIG decisions and choices. Not knowing which road to choose, we’d go for the one we think would favor us the most and most of us do this following our instinct. It’d be a very big decision for us to make. And the choice we make then is definitely very important as most of it would decide our future. For example, when we finish our high school and we are confused of what to do next. Or when we are in a problem and we have a few solutions and we have to choose only one. However, not all of us would have made the best choice for ourselves. Sometimes we use our heart and not our brains in choosing what’s the right thing for us. For those of us that has chosen the right path, we’d feel glad and thankful that we chose that path after all. For the amount of risk we might have taken, the uncertainty of the end result of taking that path and the fear we had when we had to choose the path, the fear of walking that road alone. All alone. As most of the major decision made in our lives, affects us mostly and none others. But what about those that chose the wrong path? They can’t really turn back instead just sit and wish that they hadn’t chosen that path and wish for something good to come alone the way. It sounds scary, but this is life. Its basically all about choices.

Its true that only when we are tested we know who we really are. The choices we make reflects our personality. The way we think. What we adore most in life. What’s important to us. Whose important to us. It shows in the choices we take and the path that we choose. And only when we are tested we know who we can be. Because what might have seem so impossible for us to do and achieve, when we are tested we would somehow work to overcome the obstacles we face. And this is when we will realize what we can do, and who we can be because with test, normally comes hard work and courage. When a human is tested, what he needs most is the courage to go on with what he started. And if he could actually achieve whatever he wanted despite the tests he faced, then it will definitely show who we can be.

“The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, faith and belief. And beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.” I love this line of the quote very much. Its a piece of advice to everyone. The person we want to be does exist somewhere in us, somewhere on the other side of hard work, faith and belief. Its just a matter of courage and whether we believe in ourselves or not. Coz if we don’t have the courage to try and work to get what we want, no matter what we’d never get it. Luck doesn’t work for everyone. And we should leave our fears of what lies ahead as it we keep leaving in fear, we’d never have the courage to move forward. And this quote has definitely changed my view and perception on certain matters. =)

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
What you do to me…

Love ya bits and pieces.. =)

I waited impatiently at the lrt station waiting for my aunt. I was supposed to be picked up at 8.30 p.m. but unfortunately she got caught up with some work that she told to me to hang on for a while. I waited and waited and waited. The clock was just ticking off. Finally at 9.30 p.m. my aunt called and told me her sister, Seetha would be getting me at the station. Finally someone came. Just as the car entered the street, I started wondering if the house would look anything like I have imagined. My mind kept thinking of how the house use to be and how I haven’t been there for more than a year due to the renovation that was taking place. All I knew was I’ve been waiting for this for a long long time.

 As Seetha parked her car in front of the house, I looked at it amazed. Though it was not complete and there was still work to be done, like the front gate and the car porch, I was still amazed at how it looked. It was a complete new house. I was more than surprised when I entered in the house, because it totally looks like a new place now. Nothing of the current look resembles the house before its renovation. The stair case has been moved from the center of the house to the right. The living room is now the dining room and the kitchen. It’s just so lovely with the counter to pass over food and the bar. And the wall panels for the plasma screen. Everything about the house made me fall in love with it instantaneously. Though the furniture is yet to arrive, it just looks amazingly beautiful. I want a home exactly like that. With an Australian concept porch, or so it’s called and a walk in wardrobe with the bathroom having sauna system (not sauna bath), anyone would be in love with the home. I mean it’s not exactly the best home around in town but what I can assure you is, anyone would fall in love in first sight with the house. And the best that I like about the house is that all its arts and crafts have been shipped in from non other than our motherland, India. With such fine and beautiful work, ANYONE would be in love with them. I mean the craft. Not only is my aunt’s house beautiful, but same applies for both her sisters’ condominium. Both of it is what I would say my dream condominium. I may sound greedy here, but well I can’t really choose between the two. It’s just a perfect place for couples to stay, especially the one at Maxwell tower where you feel far from the city’s busyness. And the breeze that you can feel on beautiful evenings from the balcony is lovely. Just lovely.

 The love and the warmth of the house owners and their other family members, it’s definitely a place I would call HOME, cause for a couple of days I thought I was in heaven. No stress, nothing bothering my mind and my world was just me and those there around me. I was surrounded by my lovely aunt and her sister, her parents and all her other nieces and nephew which has never made me seem like a stranger or a far relative to them. Being there made me feel really like home. There was always someone to talk to and having those little kids around me that was each pulling me to be with them, made me even like being there. And having my aunt’s mother, whom I call Appachi talking to me about life, relationships, and India made me enjoy my stay even better. For some reason, I’ve always this kinda company. Where even if they are old, they seem to be understanding and the things they tell you about life, though there’s a big generation gap I can’t agree more with them.

Now,I’m back here in hostel. The first few minutes upon arriving in my room, I felt I was lost. For a moment loneliness hit me. It always happen when I go back to a place I feel home, surrounded by many people and suddenly find myself actually lying down on my bed in hostel room. It suddenly makes me feel lost and lonely definitely. Like one moment you’re having a life surrounded by so many people and the next minute, you feel completely empty.

Okay, i so hate second trimester. Its ONLY third week and I’m feeling the pressure mounting up my head. Assignments are starting to pile up and all I do is sit and whine about it instead of working on it. Not that i do not work on it but its just so tiring. I just finished up with one assignment like 2 days back and here I go again, another assignment for the same subject and its due next Tuesday. And its gonna be the same for the next few weeks till the end of the trimester. So far I’ve just mentioned about one subject and I have 2 other subjects which I do have assignments too. But right now, this business law assignment is just heating me up. What was I even thinking when i registered for 4 subjects? And i was so confident that I would get through it just because last short trimester I got through it with an A out of 4 subjects. Thank god i dropped one of the subject this sem, or dear friends would have to find me 6 feet underground by the end of the trimester or maybe in a mental asylum. I mean seriously, I do feel the pressure now. And for the pass 2 trimesters I’ve been having supplementary paper consequently and as a result my cgpa has dropped quite low. I’ve really got to work my ass out to push up my pointer this trimester as I wouldn’t wanna graduate with a low pointer.

Now, where do i go after graduating? I mean yes, I have like 1 year to go. It may seem like a long way to go, but trust me time flies. I feel like i just finished my SPM and here I am about to complete my degree soon, in a year. I’ve always been so ambitious about pursuing my further studies, either a Master Degree or CFA. But here comes the indecisive part. What is the best to do? Work first or further my studies right away? Both has its own pro and con. If i were to work first, I get work experience as well as saving up some money and there won’t be the need to burden my parents though I don’t think by working a year I’m gonna save enough money to further my studies abroad as I’ve always wanted. But the possibilities of me not wanting to further my studies after earning some money is also there. It happens and I’ve seen it happen to quite a number of people. I really do want to further my studies and make my parents proud, especially my grandpa as I’m his eldest grandchild. But would I be able to make it? Would i reach the pinnacle of success? Completing this degree itself sometimes gets the hell out of me, the pressure of completing assignments and studying for exams. I mean campus life is suppose to be FUN but i think I’ve only been having fun like the past 2 trimesters where I’ve started going out and stuff. I don’t think I’m that prepared to enter the working world but how long can I avoid it?

This is life. Whether I like it or not, this is how life goes and this is the system I would say. Some of you may say, not every female end up working. Some do end up getting married either because well they got pregnant or some just find some rich old guy and get married, but marriage for this purpose, do you think it last? After some time, people regret their decision and the choice that they made. Okay, I’m crapping now, I know. Anyway, I should end my post here as I notice I started my post with something else and its heading somewhere else.

My current mood = Stressed with assignments + Thinking a lot of future + Missing someone terribly (frustrated over that too)

I’m so missing him. Haven’t got the chance to chat much with him or text him as he is down with flu and i guess he is sleeping now. And the weather really got me missing very much, and knowing we’re both helpless right now as he can’t come here and neither can I do anything about it is making me feel even more screwed up. I wish there was something he could do, or at least I could do. But its all about patience and understanding i guess.

I shall really really stop here now before i start crapping and getting emo cause I’m most capable of doing that right now. Sayonara!

A cup of hot chocolate and my beautiful pink comforter is all I need on a rainy day like this. And yea, my bolster too. But unfortunately at such a perfect weather to sleep, I had to attend lecture which was pointless anyway cause I was not paying attention to the lecture at all. My mind went wandering around again, thinking of things I always think when its this kinda weather. Hee. It went back to Taiping, where I started missing home, my room, my bed, my parents and mostly my grandparents. I guess this is what happens when you are really very attached to people at home and in my case where I am so attached to my grandparents. Its during this kind of weather that I would run over to their house and my grandparents would know what I want, which is none other than a cup of hot tea or any hot drinks as a matter of fact. I just miss them and the comfort of having them around me. Where I always felt loved and important to them. Where what I want was always a priority to them and most of the time they never failed to give me what I really wanted.

From Taiping, my mind came back here to Cyberjaya. Had I been in my room and not in class, it would have been a perfect weather to have a hot cup of coffee and a good book to catch up on. I mean that would be my next option after sleeping. And my room mates are just enjoying themselves sleeping while I can’t right now because to me its kinda late for me to sleep now. Its been a couple of weeks since I read something good, like really good besides those trips to kinokuniya where i just flip through pages and read what interests me.

From Cyberjaya my mind had to travel to Ampang. =p It made me miss someone so much that i was hoping i could just pester him to come to campus at that moment, or at least after my class where i could ask him to take me out for a cup of tea. It reminded me of the time i thought was another beautiful and perfect moment in Borders, Times Square. I remember, it was Saturday 15th of September where we met up and had gone to Times Square to look for a friend’s birthday gift but we couldn’t find anything nice there and as usual i ended up dragging him to the bookshop with me. And god, I just love borders. Nothing could be as good as sitting in Starbucks having something good to drink and the pie we had (forgot what was it) and listening to the beautiful songs and musics being played and having something to read at the same time. I mean to me personally it was really really beautiful and meaningful as well. I could just sit there quietly with him and listen to the music while enjoying the hot cup of coffee and the pie. I miss that moment very much, just as much as I miss him. =)